SW: 271
GW: 175
CW: 182
That's why I'm here is a pretty powerful song about alcoholism. The chorus of that song is:
It's the simple things in life
Like the kids at home and a loving wife
That you miss the most when you lose control
Everything you love starts to disappear
The devil takes your hand and says, no fear
Have another shot, just one more beer
I've been there, that's why I'm here
One more bite of food, one more meal, that will make it ALL better. Just dive into that bag of fast food, that burger, those french fries, that coke, they will make all your troubles vanish. That's a lie. The truth is, once you finish this bite, this meal, that heart attack in a bag, all your troubles will still be there. And now, you are also too big to play with your kids, or wear those clothes, or ride that ride.
I'm addicted to food. I told that to another human last week. Normally people think of alcohol or drugs when they think of addiction. I know some about that. For...reasons...I am familiar with AA but I personally have battled addiction with food. I have found that addiction is addiction no matter the substance. The lies are the same and so is the recovery from it.
For whatever reason in June of 2019 a switch flipped in my brain, I guess I hit bottom, and I decided I needed to make a change. The main thing I can think of that would cause this would be the death of my father. He died of alcoholism. He was in his mid 60's but acted like he was in his 80's or 90's. He passed in 2018. In 2019 I heard a song called "Someone I use to know" and part of that song goes like this:
In the first verse I see my dad and in the second I see myself. His addiction was alcohol and mine is food and if something didn't change in my life I would end up right where he was and that was terrifying. For years I believed the lie that food told me. Food was my friend when I was lonely, something to do when I was bored, a comfort when I was sad or scared. Food didn't judge, didn't leave, didn't get mad. But it was going to kill me. My relationship with food had to change to save my life. I was well on my way to being 300 lbs, or heavier and it is only by the grace of God that I changed when I did. I finally got honest about why I was eating and what it was doing to me. I took control of my life and really pushed to keep up the good habits I had formed over the summer. I understand this will be a lifelong battle for me. The lie, that food will bring ease and comfort, is still there. Just a few weeks ago I literally had to fight with myself to NOT go get fast food and eat it in secret. There is another lie. The oh, you can just run by Chick Fil A and grab something on your way home, just eat it in the car and nobody will know... That is a very slippery slope that will lead me to doing that every Monday and falling right back into those old habits that led me to 271 pounds. Food won't make the pain go away, it will not make the bad times better, it is not a replacement for people you love or things you like to do. Food if fuel for your body so you can do the things you like with the people you love. I'm so very glad it was time to let go of that someone I used to know, it was time to let go of the lie.
GW: 175
CW: 182
That's why I'm here is a pretty powerful song about alcoholism. The chorus of that song is:
It's the simple things in life
Like the kids at home and a loving wife
That you miss the most when you lose control
Everything you love starts to disappear
The devil takes your hand and says, no fear
Have another shot, just one more beer
I've been there, that's why I'm here
One more bite of food, one more meal, that will make it ALL better. Just dive into that bag of fast food, that burger, those french fries, that coke, they will make all your troubles vanish. That's a lie. The truth is, once you finish this bite, this meal, that heart attack in a bag, all your troubles will still be there. And now, you are also too big to play with your kids, or wear those clothes, or ride that ride.
I'm addicted to food. I told that to another human last week. Normally people think of alcohol or drugs when they think of addiction. I know some about that. For...reasons...I am familiar with AA but I personally have battled addiction with food. I have found that addiction is addiction no matter the substance. The lies are the same and so is the recovery from it.
For whatever reason in June of 2019 a switch flipped in my brain, I guess I hit bottom, and I decided I needed to make a change. The main thing I can think of that would cause this would be the death of my father. He died of alcoholism. He was in his mid 60's but acted like he was in his 80's or 90's. He passed in 2018. In 2019 I heard a song called "Someone I use to know" and part of that song goes like this:
Someone I used to know
Would stay another round
Someone I used to know
Ran himself in the ground
Would stay another round
Someone I used to know
Ran himself in the ground
It's been a long time comin'
Couldn't keep on runnin'
Had to hit rock bottom to know
When you keep on losin'
With the path you're choosin'
And it's time to let go
Of someone that I used to know
Couldn't keep on runnin'
Had to hit rock bottom to know
When you keep on losin'
With the path you're choosin'
And it's time to let go
Of someone that I used to know
In the first verse I see my dad and in the second I see myself. His addiction was alcohol and mine is food and if something didn't change in my life I would end up right where he was and that was terrifying. For years I believed the lie that food told me. Food was my friend when I was lonely, something to do when I was bored, a comfort when I was sad or scared. Food didn't judge, didn't leave, didn't get mad. But it was going to kill me. My relationship with food had to change to save my life. I was well on my way to being 300 lbs, or heavier and it is only by the grace of God that I changed when I did. I finally got honest about why I was eating and what it was doing to me. I took control of my life and really pushed to keep up the good habits I had formed over the summer. I understand this will be a lifelong battle for me. The lie, that food will bring ease and comfort, is still there. Just a few weeks ago I literally had to fight with myself to NOT go get fast food and eat it in secret. There is another lie. The oh, you can just run by Chick Fil A and grab something on your way home, just eat it in the car and nobody will know... That is a very slippery slope that will lead me to doing that every Monday and falling right back into those old habits that led me to 271 pounds. Food won't make the pain go away, it will not make the bad times better, it is not a replacement for people you love or things you like to do. Food if fuel for your body so you can do the things you like with the people you love. I'm so very glad it was time to let go of that someone I used to know, it was time to let go of the lie.
